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Robert Downey Jr. punches a small child.

Posted by Hayden on February 15, 2011 at 1:15 AM Comments comments (0)

Wow. I had a lot of fun with this movie... But before I get into the obvious pros, I will go through some cons.

Todd Phillips has had a brilliant run with movies of the comedic genre.

Having said that, Due Date was well stretched. Solid plot line, but there wasn't many places you could go with it. A very angry, uptight Peter Highman (Robert Downey Jr.) has to get home in time for the birth of his first child. Enter childlike man, Ethan Tremblay (Zach Galifianakis) and an unfortunate 'friendship' is born. 'Someone' says the words 'terrorist' and 'bomb' too many times on their flight to L.A. landing them both on a 'no-fly' list. Meaning they have to drive back to L.A. together. (The clever reason behind this is Peter's wallet is still on the plane they were kicked off of).

This is basically it. Shenanigans occur. Proper, ridiculous shenanigans. Like breaking out of the Mexican border in a stolen border patrol car... Whilst stupidly high. 

Okay. Pros.

This movie was pretty fucking hilarious. I mean, I laughed almost as hard as I did through The Hangover... Which is a good sign. Robert's characters short fuse makes it for me though. I mean, in what other movie can you see Robert Downey Jr. punch and small child, get into a fight with a handicapped veteran and spit on a dog? Maybe a drunken home movie... Maybe.

Zach's character is much the same as it is in any and every movie you see him in. It's getting a bit tired to tell you the truth but his stupid, blind passion in this movie is brilliant and his stupidity and obsession for Two and a Half Men makes for a laugh when he pulls out hilarious one liners... Like calling Robert's character a 'child'.

This movie also has some decent cameos by Juliette Lewis, as a drug dealer and Jamie Foxx, as longtime, pro footballer friend of Peter.

Look, I honestly don't know how to rate this flick as I was fucking pumped to see it from the get-go and I feel kind of let down. Not like a quick let down either, more like the 8 hours it takes to let down an air mattress.

I'll give Due Date 2.5/5 Ashes for Coffees.


Posted by Hayden on June 21, 2010 at 11:49 PM Comments comments (0)

Alrighty righty right. I've been waiting for this since I saw Mr. Steve Jobs talking about it in a recent Apple press release... Unfortunately I am, somewhat, disappointed... Maybe it's because I only own a 3G and most of the features are only available on the 3GS and the iPhone 4. But here I go none the less -

The overall feel of the iPhone (looking at the home screen and the Apps) is a whole mess tighter. Tight as in neat and clean.

Multitasking! - FUCK YEAH! I hear you all scream as it is quite irritating having to exit Apps to reply to a message or phone call and so on. I assume it works like a charm!? I wouldn't know... Not available on 3G. NEXT.

App Folders! - This is great for me as I can't have everything all over the shop. Organising my Apps into folders (which the iPhone automatically names based on the genre of App) saves a great deal of space and it's time saved by not having to flick through multiple pages to get to the App you want.

Mail! - You can now have multiple accounts and see all of them in one inbox or you can have them all nice and organised and view different inboxes for different accounts. Nice.

Home Screen Wallpaper! - I was really looking forward to this one as the black is boring as shit... But alas, only the 3GS and iPhone 4 have this perk.

Built In Dictionary! - I like this one personally. It's basically just a better spell speck for your iPhone.

The more trivial crap includes easier to read iBooks, the ability to create playlists from your iPhone, viewing photos by who is in them and where they were taken, gifting Apps and a 5x Digital which (as I can't find anything on my camera) I assume is only available for the 3GS and iPhone 4... Once again.

So my overall opinion is that all of the main ideas are pretty badass and I love that Apple fanboys like myself don't have to pay for updates and that the company realises when it makes mistakes and is nice enough to correct them. But I think that original iPhone users and iPhone 3G users, like myself, got jipped. It seems to me like a ploy to make people buy better models of the phone to get all of the features... Which is fair game, every company needs to make money. I'm just upset that they didn't offer 3G users much more than searchable messages, a bunch of new wallpapers, better mail and App folders.

I thank Apple for the update... But I'm disappointed at how little 3G users got considering the hype.

I give iOS4 3/5 Apples for 3G users and I would glady give it 5/5 for 3GS and future iPhone 4 users.

Scott Stewart, I want my time back.

Posted by Hayden on June 12, 2010 at 12:20 AM Comments comments (1)

So, whilst searching for movies to watch I stumbled across a trailer for the new movie 'Legion'. This ended up being a common mistake of judging a book by it's cover. The trailer made me want to watch the movie straight away... The movie, however, made me want to burn this mother-fucker down.

Okay so the basis of the movie is - God is pissed with humanity so he wants to wipe the slate clean... Again. So he asks Angel Michael (Paul Bettany, you may remember him as crazy albino Silas from The Da Vinci Code) to come to earth and kill the main protagonist Charlie ('Just sucked on a lemon' faced Adrianne Palicki) who is a pregnant woman... Whose child is our only hope. So Michael thinks this is a bad idea, comes to Earth, cuts off his wings and then proceeds to go help the rest of the cast fight for survival in a run down diner in the middle of nowhere. Later on Gabriel comes to Earth to do what Michael can't blah blah blah.

Now that's pretty much it. The movie fails to go in depth with anything. All we know is the child can't die or we all do. That's it. The plot is looser than that hooker Vince Offer beat up.

But this isn't where the movie failed me... As it has sooo much potential. The dialogue is where the movie failed me as it was clearly written by fucking 5 year olds. It sprays off on random tangents, the characters are boring and their melodramatic back stories made my fucking ears bleed.

The supporting cast isn't bad at all and every movie that - Dennis Quaid, Lucas Black, Tyrese Gibson and Kevin Durand have been in has usually been good (Bar Tokyo Drift). So I have no complaints there.

In conclusion, this movie has so much potential and could have been so great but it lacks the frequent violence to be a good action movie (although delivers in blood and gore and a fairly well choreographed fight scene between the two Angels, Gabriel and Michael)  and the plot is way too loose to keep you in dramatically for the full 100 minutes.

I wouldn't even recommend renting for $1.95 on Tuesdays whenever it comes to DVD.

I give this movie 2/5 Racial Stereotypes (You'll get me if you dare to waste your time and money)

Sleeping with an App

Posted by Hayden on February 16, 2010 at 4:57 PM Comments comments (0)

I can't be the only person out there with issues getting up in the morning, feeling like total balls and just wanting to keep smashing that snooze button that seems to be preset at a 9 minute interval just to send my OCD into twitch mode which, evidently, makes me feel insane first thing in the morning.

Seems I've stumbled across a solution!

It's called 'Have a hella awesome badass sleep App'. Actually, it's called 'Sleep Cycle', but I much prefer my name for it. Either way this App is still badass. Here's how it works - Using the incredibly sensitive accelerometer in your iPhone and then by placing said iPhone on your bed at night, it judges movements in sleep the makes it's own little educated decision (which isn't hard, move around a lot and you are in a light sleep phase, don't move around at all and you are in a deep sleep phase) and then gives you a graph read out in the morning letting you know how much you moved around at night and more of what phase you slept in.

"How does this help me with getting up in the morning, feeling like shit, Hayden?" You may ask.

"Keep reading my review you cock and stop interrupting me!" I shall reply.

By setting your own alarm in the morning as a fail safe, just incase you are a deep sleeper all around, you can ensure you will always wake up for work, however, you may still feel like balls. The App on the other hand has this even better way of waking you up, by judging your sleep patterns (and obviously giving you the recommended hours of sleep) it will wake you in the morning (usually before your set time and not at ridiculous hours) when you are in your lightest sleep phase. Which makes you feel fantastic because your body is already somewhat awake and you aren't smashing your bedside clock because you have to get up for work and you were in some heavy deep sleep phase. Example - I set my alarm for 8:30am. I had already had 8 and 1/2 hours of sleep, the App woke me at 7:14am. I got up, with no hesitation, feeling well rested and energised.

My issue with sleep, even after I started Yoga and meditation, was always waking up feeling like crap. Last night was my first night with this App and I can most definitely say that she won't be a one night stand.

I give it 4/5 Sandmans.

Project Natal vs PS3's 'Wand'.

Posted by Hayden on January 27, 2010 at 11:53 PM Comments comments (1)

For years I was an Xbox fanboy, but after 2 Pro consoles and 2 Elite consoles all getting the dreaded RRoD, I realised that my PS3, sitting alone, gathering dust and being used only to play the occasional Blu-Ray movie, was far superior (after they fixed online gameplay, of course). Having said that, and also because of the fact that I haven't seen or heard much of PS3's 'Wand', I think Microsoft have made the biggest step in the evolution of gaming we've seen so far. It's called 'Project Natal' and it is basically an EyeToy but way more awesome (I would go as far as to say hella awesome). From what I've seen you are able to play a whole range of games using yourself as the controller. That's right, use an invisible steering wheel to drive a car, use an invisible buzzer to play quiz games with people over Xbox Live (complete with voice recognition). You can even scan in your own items, such as a skateboard (as shown in the preview teaser) and skate your ass off on your invisible deck. Now, this is already a billion times more appealing than the Wii... If you don't mind people walking in on you whilst you are pretending to be Godzilla, smashing down buildings and if you don't mind being a tad more physically active whilst you are playing video games. That's right, no more blaming the console for your obesity you fat morons. You can also use voice and body recognition to sign yourself into your profile and also use voice control to play movies. Plus, just like in Minority Report, you can use your hand to swipe left and right through Xbox's already user friendly menu interface. As a gamer I am fond of the idea of dancing around in a completely controller free environment, however, I like the idea of Sony's wand a little better. I like the idea of having this completely cable free, precision movement wand which I can use as a sword to cut peoples heads off or use as a bow and arrow and so on and so forth. But as I said, I haven't seen or heard much except a little demo on the currently un-named 'Wand' and Microsoft are doing a hella better job at promoting their 'next step in gaming'. Obviously at this point I can't make a real judgement or comparison between the two and I wont say I'm leaning towards the 'Wand' just because I crossed over to the Darkside and am now a Playstation fanboy, and because 'Project Natal' looks fucking badass + with the low price of Xbox 360's now adays... I will probably buy another one just for 'Project Natal'.

I will express my opinion further once I have had a play around with one or both of these incredible advances in video game technology.

GTA Chinatown Wars (iPhone + iPod Touch)

Posted by Hayden on January 27, 2010 at 9:40 PM Comments comments (0)

Oh my fucking awesomefuck. I'm usually against spending heaps of money on Apps for my iPhone, but as we all know about Rockstars success with the Grand Theft Auto franchise I couldn't resist. This is an actual game, none of this 'pass the time with bullshit game Apps' (I just played for like an hour and am only 5% through). The graphics are easily on par with the DS version and the touch controls are hella easy to use. The dialog is hilariously awesome, as in any GTA game, and the emails are adverts are equally as hilarious. Make a playlist on your iPhone/ iPod Touch, name it GTA and BLAMMO!! Listen to your music in game, just like in the console versions. The only real flaw I could find are the cut scenes. Fair enough there is no voice, I can handle subtitles, but sometimes the picture just looks a bit retard. Guys, once again, I rarely waste my money on Apps, but if you are a video game fantatic, love GTA and have $12.99 AUD to piss away, then buy this game. Buy it hard. Support brilliant Apps. I guarantee you that you will have to have your device plugged into an outlet because every time you will play your battery dead. Sheer. Fucktastic. Brilliance.

I give it 4/5 Video game related violence's.


Posted by Hayden on January 27, 2010 at 9:13 PM Comments comments (1)

If you are a Star Wars nerd you will understand and love this movie. If you are familiar with Mr. Lucas on a broader spectrum, you will understand it more so.

This movie is kind of an intimate comedy (not sexy intimate, you idiots) complete with hilarious movie quotes and references such as Indiana Jones and Highlander. Yarr, It be about 4 friends who road trip to The Skywalker Ranch to steal a copy of the unreleased 'Star Wars: Episode I -  The Phantom Menace'. In the film Chris Marquette (Just Friends, The Girl Next Door) plays Linus, a Star Wars fanatic who happens to be dying... Dying before the movie is released... Hence the road trip (making sense now?) Accompanied by Sam Huntington (Detroit Rock City, Not Another Teen Movie), Dan Fogler (Good Luck Chuck) and Jay Baruchel (Knocked Up, Tropic Thunder) they share fun, drugs and Trekkie bashing, which every true Star Wars fan will appreciate. Look out for Seth Rogen (who plays 2 hilarious parts) William Shatner (FTW cameo) and Carrie Fisher (unfortunately not as Princess Leia). The movie has a strong plot and I didn't find myself bored at all... But I don't know how non-Star Wars fans will find it.

So if you liked Road Trip and you love Star Wars this movie is for you.

I'll give it 5/5 Wookies. Totally hella badass Wookies.